It's easy to remember where you were in years past around the holidays. If I were randomly asked about where I was, who I was with, and what I was doing on June 21st, 6 months ago, I probably couldn't say. I definitely couldn't say where I was on that date a year and a half ago. But I remember vividly what last Christmas was like, and last New Years. Those things I always seems to be able to picture quite vividly, along with how I felt, if I was healthy & fit at the time, and if I was happy. Christmas especially, always seems to bring back nostalgic feelings of past Christmases. So first I want to tell you a little about last Christmas in terms of diet and fitness, and then how I'm feeling this Christmas Eve.
Christmas Last:
Christmas 2011 was in Durham, NC. My siblings and mom made the 8+ hour drive down to see me, Emmy and Sappho (my cat). It's always fun when they come to visit. Emmy LOVES my siblings and Sappho LOVES my mom, and thankfully, since I lived in a house last year I had a bit more room to accommodate people than in Christmases past.
Of course my family showed up with boxes of gifts which overwhelmed my tiny Target Christmas tree. But if you ever met my mom, you would know that that's just how she is. "A few small gifts" turn into 30 too big for the tree presents, all wrapped meticulously and carefully thought about. Boxing day, which is also a big tradition in our house was also fun, as my mom had plenty of new spaces in which to hide our boxes.
Despite the happiness of having my family around, I was still left with the unsatisfying feeling of being very overweight and out of shape. Around Dec. 15th last year, (I mentioned in a previous post) I weighed around 162.0 lbs., which was most likely the highest weight I have ever been. On my 5' 3.5"- 5' 4" frame, this was less than flattering. On top of this, I was severely out of shape. While I took Emmy for many a walk most every day during the summer and fall, the winter was quite different. I hate the cold, and being outside for more than 10 minutes was so undesirable. I was also so heavy that I was scared to go to the gym. I say "scared" in the sense that I just didn't want to be seen there. I didn't want to be the heavier one amidst all the skinny sorority girls. So I let my busy work life be busy and when I came home I would order pizza, or stop at a sandwich shop, always leaving room for cookie dough at the end of the night. I ate when I was bored, when I was lonely, and when I was stressed.
So a week or two before my family arrived, I resolved that I would lose weight and get in shape. Thankfully, my family very much supported my efforts. On Christmas day instead of a big turkey, ham, and various other accouterments that are calorie laden, my sister (a nutritionist), made a big batch of creamy quinoa salad, which to this day, is one of the most delicious while still being healthy dishes I have ever tasted. She showed me exactly what went in it and had even calculated the nutritional info for it.
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| Ingredients! So healthy :-) |
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| Creamy Quinoa Salad -- Courtesy of my awesome sis |
While I was the heaviest and most out of shape I remember being at Christmas...ever...it was a super positive experience to have the holidays be spent with family and healthy food. My sister also took me for a short run with Emmy. We probably didn't even go a mile (which is less than a warm-up for her), but she was so encouraging, reassuring me that even a mile was good exercise and it got easier every day after I started. Emmy had so much fun running after her that I new I had to start running with her more.
Fast forward to this Christmas.....
Christmas Present:
I now weigh in at 112 lbs. It took me about 7-8 months to get down to this weight and the last 4 months I've been struggling to maintain it. Maintenance in some ways for me is harder than just losing the weight. I'm trying to find this delicate balance that my body doesn't recognize between too little and too much.
I am currently with Ryan and his family, enjoying the time learning the "new" traditions of the family of the man I love. True to his nature, Ryan has been preparing healthy meals for all of us, partially for the health of his family and partially for my peace of mind. He knows that holidays and unfamiliar places stress me out and that when I get stressed I stop eating. He has been doing an amazing job of keeping me fed and my stress to a minimum. Doesn't get much better than that :-).
In terms of diet, its more of a "work in progress". I'm now at my goal weight and have been for a few months, and so will most likely remember this Christmas as the one where I was finally satisfied with my diet and fitness, but so very scared of losing it all.
As a science nerd, I decided in my spare time today to make a plot of my weight over the past year and plot an exponential decay to it. Because I LOVE Mathematica.
Seeing this plotted out really encouraged me. Next year I would love to be able to put this plot up and have a nice straight line (with error bars of course!) all the way across.
I hope that by next Christmas I will have evolved and grown (hopefully) more in terms of listening to my body, learning more healthy recipes, and stopping the yo-yo dieting. But that is something for next year's post.
As for this year, I could have never done this without my supportive family, my thoughtful roommate, my amazing boyfriend, and my two precious pup pups. To them, I owe the greatest gratitude this Christmas.
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