Mixin' it up.

I'm a creature of habit. Big time. I don't get easily bored of eating the same foods or feel the dreaded stagnation of a routine in the gym for months after months. But this is of course all relative. I say this because, compared to most people I know, I can eat the same foods for longer and do the same workout routines more.

However, I do tend to make small adjustments every so often to spice things up a bit. I think, on some level, we all need this. I think I might just need it a bit less than most. A lot of this comes from my disordered eating days of having "safe foods" and only feeling comfortable if I was doing the same thing in the same way day after day. While I don't have such strict requirements anymore, I still find routine reassuring.

Recently, though, I've found that I haven't been quite as excited to go to the gym. This is due to several things in my opinion. One is that I've been traveling more than I typically do, which tends to be tough on my body (I'm pretty bad at working out when I travel). It's also become a bit frustrating to continue my run-to-the-gym, do the elliptical, lift, walk back to work when it's gotten much colder out. The short run to the gym starts to hurt my lungs (I'm a terrible winter runner...I hate it). The elliptical, even though it's great for my joints, is starting to bore me, and on top of this, I don't feel like I'm actually working as hard as I could.

The body adapts. This is what it's good at. The problem with me loving routine so much is that my body pretty much gets optimized for doing that set routine. Sure, I lift, run, walk, do the elliptical and that's variety in and of itself, but I felt like it was time for a bit of a change -- nothing too drastic, just something to mix it up.

Enter spin class.

Now let me say, I'm not a big "fitness class" fanatic. I took several in college, and only really LOVED one. It was taught by probably the most in-shape, muscle-burn-loving teacher you could imagine who had a great taste in music and could have probably been both a cheerleader and a drill sergeant. Her class eventually became so crowded that she had to teach another to accommodate all the students.

Every other fitness class I've taken (at any gym), I haven't been a fan of. I've taken yoga, step, aerobic dance, kickboxing, kickboxing bag, and weight training/resistance band classes. They were always ok. I didn't hate them, but I also always just preferred working out by myself.

Not my thing.

So I was hesitant to try the spin class offered at Duke. Also, I'm not a big fan of stationary bikes, which before I took the spin class, assumed meant that I would also dislike spinning (there is a big difference thank goodness!).


After the first class I tried I was dripping in sweat and had trouble doing squats several days later. Clearly this was something that was challenging for my body. The bikes were also much different than either the regular bike I occasionally ride or the stationary bikes at the gym. I liked the loud music, the fact that it was taught in a dark room (lit only with a string of Christmas lights around the top) and the fact that it was a really good workout.

My new thing.

I've been hooked ever since. I take express classes every Wednesday and sometimes Friday now. They are taught during lunch and are 30 minutes of quad-tearing, glute-screaming pain. Which I enjoy.

It's also given me a welcome change of pace from my normal routine. I now don't stress so much if I don't get an amazing workout on the elliptical, or if I just want to stay bundled up and walk to the gym instead of run.

One caveat I've found though is that the quality of the class (not necessarily the workout though!) is really at the mercy of the instructor. I've experienced 3-4 different ones at Duke who have ranged from everything from ok to awesome. Thankfully I haven't had any bad ones. Some are easier than others. Some prefer hills to speed work. Some focus on more drills with fancy names and less riding. But overall it's a pretty good mix.

Trip to Orlando

Last week I attended a conference in Orlando. The optics was definitely good, but let me say -- I don't think I've been in many situations where I was trapped into eating specific food (except for at relatives' gatherings and holidays) as much as I was here.

I thought there would be plenty of choices. When I've went to conferences before, if I don't find food I like at the venue where the conference is, I just go walking in the city/town until I find a place that seems like they would have something healthier and load up on that, and return to the conference. I don't mind wandering for food. That's what our ancestors did, after all, and walking usually gives me a nice break to clear my head and be outside. Since I was in Orlando, I figured there would be plenty of places to walk to near the hotel, as well as maybe a cafe or gift shop in the hotel.

The beautiful hotel!

Now let me start off by saying, this wasn't any hotel. It was probably the most expensive hotel I've ever stayed in (thankfully my travel grants pay for it). Now here's the thing about expensive hotels...nothing is cheap or free in them. I took a look at the restaurants in the hotel (there are about 4-5..one is just a lounge/sushi bar) and was shocked. The appetizers were between 12-18$ and the meals, anywhere from 20-60$ depending on lunch/dinner and what you ordered. Being that it was also fancy, there weren't many options (most only had one chicken dish on the whole thing!). Doing this research before hand I came up with several plans to avoid having to eat at the restaurants.

Plan 1: Hotels always serve continental breakfast. Usually they include healthy(ish) cereals, fruit, maybe a whole wheat bagel or muffin. My plan was to get my breakfast and take a few extra things for snacks or a meal if need be during the day.

Issue with Plan 1: Remember I said really expensive hotels don't give anything for cheap/free? Yea. No continental breakfast.

None of this :-(

Plan 2: Find a close grocery store/convenience store and go load up on lower calorie things that I could eat for the few days. My room had a fridge in it, so I could get some things to take back that were perishable too!

Issue with Plan 2: The closest store was (as the crow flies) a little over a mile away (win!)...BUT the fastest way there was over 3 miles on fast roads with NO sidewalks! It amazed me, but as soon as you left the hotel complex, the sidewalks just stopped. No one walked here! I didn't see one person out walking on the road leading up to the hotel...it was just simply not meant for walking. Also, the hotel was surrounded by a moat and thus swamp land and thus alligators. This meant, with no sidewalk my choice was walk on the busy road or next to the swamp. I would have chosen the road...but neither was really a good choice.

Plan 3: See how long my protein bars and half a box of crackers I brought in my backpack would last.

Issue with Plan 3: Not long!

I was basically stuck with the hotel food. For the first day I really tried to eat the slimmest meals I could. I had a protein bar for breakfast (free-ish). I got a turkey sandwich from the cafe (only 8.52$ it was the cheapest thing on the menu). And I can't remember what I had for dinner, but it wasn't bad.

I met a few people who had rented a car and they had been going out for lunches and dinners because it was too expensive (even for professors!) at the hotel. I went to a tapas style place where I had chicken quesadillas and tried alligator!  On the last day I went to a Thai place and had chicken pad thai (which is one of my favourites).

Gator "bites"...Didn't really love them. The best part was the honey mustard :-/

The thing was, with every passing day, I just gave up a little more on trying to eat healthily. The fact that there were almost 10-12 straight hours of talks, combined with "networking opportunities" combined with me being so nervous about giving my talk, just made hunting for healthy/cheaper food options that much harder, and that much more tiring. Four days of unheathly eating and probably almost 3-4x the calories my body was used to wouldn't kill me. But it definitely did not make me feel good. Sure, the cinnamon bun for breakfast because they only had baked goods and no normal breakfast was one of the most delicious things I've had in a while....but I was SUPER hungry again 2 hours later. I always felt hungry there. And I never felt "good" after eating...just full, in the unpleasant way.

So goood, but so bad....

Coming back here was hard too. Everything seemed a bit blander after my sugary, buttery, cheesy, greasy food from there. But boy does my body feel better. I didn't even work out this weekend but I can feel the difference. Of course, it's probably due to not being too stressed out anymore too. I am very thankful that I don't have to go to these types of events very often.

What I've learned:

1). It's ok to go a couple days eating this way, but if you do, be prepared not to feel great in the long run and have food you used to think was super delicious be only ok when you come back. The taste buds will bounce back, but it'll take a few days.

2). Bring more protein bars next time. And maybe more crackers and something healthy to snack on.

3). Alligator is wayyy too chewy and a mix between chicken and fish, but not really as good as either. Don't eat it.

4). Be so thankful for a boyfriend who cooks DELICIOUS food for you all the time. And tell him you're thankful!

Do things ever really "get easier"?

Yes and no.

I've been thinking a lot about this question recently. Is eating any easier? Is letting go of a stringent exercise routine easier? Is eating different food easier? Not counting calories all the time?

For the most part, I would say that yes, yes it's getting easier. That is to say, I stress less when I don't hit the number I want for a given day. If I'm too sore to do a full workout, that's starting to be more ok. And I've survived several weekends away eating food I'm completely unfamiliar with and having to eat more than I normally would.

But what do I mean by survive? Is that the same thing as success? My answer: some days it has to be.

I've gained ~ 1.6-2.2 lbs. In the past two months or so. I know I have gained this because I now weigh 113.2. Since Christmas I have fluctuated between 110-112 with exactly TWO instances where I have gone outside of this (one I hit 109.8, which violated Ryan and my agreement so I ate more and once where I hit 112.2). I was upset about this, of course, but not devastated. I didn't immediately start planning out 100 calories meals and schedule in an extra 2 hours at the gym. I know better than that now.

But there's still a part of me that says I'm getting lazy. I'm slacking. I'm not going to succeed (whatever that means) if I keep cutting corners, if I have an extra handful of Chex Mix without counting it.

So is it really easier?

That's why it's both yes and no. Yes, a lot of things are easier, but at the same time the uncharted territory of being less strict, more relaxed makes me upset and nervous still. Things are easier on a schedule. They are easier when they are planned out. They are easier when you don't eat as much and you don't have to stock the fridge as often. But that's just on the surface. They aren't really easier because all the time you save not making food or shopping for it, you spend thinking about it. And all the extra time in the gym that you convince yourself makes you "feel better", really just drains you to the point where you can't play with your dogs or focus on a good conversation.

I'm not sure this post is either hopeful or pessimistic. It's just the truth for me as I've come to realize it. That sometimes things are easier and not easier at the same time. The physics term for this is a quantum superposition. Just in case you wanted to know :-)

Traveling....

....is hard. It's hard for several reasons. It's hard on my body, physically. I don't travel well. It's hard on my stomach. And finally, it's hard on my mind. But it's been getting better.

Let me explain a little bit more.

1). Traveling is hard on my body.

My body is stable within pretty narrow conditions. Changing climate, altitude, pressure, temperature, food type or daily activity typically causes any combination of the following: nausea, headaches, sinus pressure, exhaustion, allergies, grouchiness (this counts, right?) aka. mood swings, and decreased appetite.

I am Figure 2.

Often times, when I would return home from college for a break I would get sick almost immediately at home, or if it were a weekend visit, upon my return to school. Even though it was a mere 4-5 hours between college and home, it was still a bit too much for my immune system.

Car trips seem especially hard, although long flights are also difficult. Emmy, my pup, feels the same way. While our other two dogs tend to fall asleep on long car trips, Emmy gets wary/anxious and will stay awake. Although I don't always stay awake, I share her wariness and anxiety.

Freya, unlike me, is particularly happy in cars.

Food on long car trips:

Because of my inability to stabilize my body during long trips, I tend to try not to eat too much before or during the trip. My stomach doesn't do well anyways in the car (unless I'm sleeping), so I try not to make it worse when I'm driving.

Sometimes I will bring crackers or a Quest bar if it's a particularly long trip, but often times Ryan and I will just wait to eat until we arrive at our destination.


2). Traveling is hard on my stomach

I stated this in the last section where by "traveling" I meant the act of traveling (the actual driving/flying etc), but traveling in the generic sense of "staying somewhere else" is also very hard on my stomach. As you know by now, I'm a creature of habit. I like eating similar food, although I have a good repertoire, but traveling often puts a wrench in that.

When you go to someone's house as a guest, you are socially expected to eat whatever they prepare. There is the assumption that they, being the gracious host/hostess, have prepared a meal for you, in a polite gesture back to them, you eat what they serve. This is typical of most cultures -- not just ours.

I have the good fortune of visiting family that makes sure that they have at least some things prepared that I will eat. Because I don't eat any red meat or fish this often means they make some sort of chicken.

Some of the delicious, yet different, food I had this weekend.

Regardless, however, of their consideration, often the food is very different from the food I normally eat. As you may suspect, this tends to leave me feeling quite sick, even though what I consume at the time is delicious.

This is nobody's fault of course, except maybe mine for not trying tons of different food. I like what I like and stick to foods that don't affect my body in negative ways -- but when offered food that I know someone has gone out of their way to prepare for me, it's quite hard to explain that even though it may be in the same food group as food I tend to eat, it will still leave me feeling sick, simply because of how differently it is prepared.

3). Traveling is hard on my mind.

This has to do with the ED side of my mind more than anything else. I don't know how many calories I'm eating. I do know that it's a lot more and that I'm not exercising enough. I don't have the safety of my routine. So my head likes to worry. How many days can I do this before I start gaining weight? How much is polite to eat but not so much that I have to spend the next week making up for it?

These questions are a lot easier now than they used to be. I used to never want to travel for fear I couldn't know exactly what was in my food and how many calories I consumed. It's getting better...slowly. But that doesn't mean its not still a battle. It may always be one. But at least I feel like I'm winning now :-).

Summer foods make me happy.

Ahh. It's been a while since I posted. I will slowly try to catch up on some of the stuff that's been going on. Let's just start with the main things:

1). My back is "healing" (I think/hope) nicely. 

Basically I have been staying away from A LOT of exercises. I mentioned in a previous post that I basically stopped Back Day. I mostly work my shoulders & lats on back day instead. I have stopped a lot of leg day. However in the past two weeks I have started incorporating squats back into my routine. Today I hit 135x4 which was hard and humbling. Working my way back up.

I have been doing one Chest & Arm workout, one Arm Only workout, and then one combined Shoulders/Lats/Legs Workout a week. So 3 lift/total workouts a week instead of 4. I walk the dogs 1-2 miles every non-workout day instead and sometimes try to run if I'm not going to lift.

All in all, it has been helping a lot. The other thing that helps is that I've been traveling for the past two weekend (not including this one). Even though the car makes my back pretty sore, the lack of workouts or long time at the shelter has probably factored into the recovery some.

2). Eating hasn't been as healthy.

I attribute this to several reasons. Amoung them is that every day I have to fight that feeling of "Well I'm not working out a lot so I don't need as much protein. May as well have ice cream instead." I have eaten a lot of ice cream in the past month or two.

Traveling makes it a lot harder to control portion sizes (except by eye) and makes food choices less available. It's not that I absolutely couldn't eat the same way, but its a lot easier to eat what everyone else is eating and just try to eat a bit less. This is what I've been trying to do. But it still makes for several meals that aren't quite as healthy.

We've also recently added a third baby (puppy) to our pack. She's grown into a very loved family member, but the past month and a half have taken a lot of work getting all of us there. I haven't been at work as long because I've had to come home earlier for her. This cuts down on workout time some and definitely takes away some energy.

The above excuses are all things I'm working on now. I'm trying to eat more healthily regardless of how much working out or traveling I do. But it's tough for sure. I think it has just gotten the best of me recently.

3). But my love of summer foods will help fix number 2!

Summer is actually one of my favourite seasons in which to eat. A few of my favourite things recently are:

a). Strawberries. I pretty much have these in the fridge every week. They make the perfect snack to eat when I get home and I want to last another hour until dinnertime. They are so perfect now, and not to mention almost always on sale!

Delicious!!!

b). Salads. I love them. They are pretty and filling and delicious! Back when I had more serious issues with counting calories, I would use salads as a way to fill up without having a lot of calories. Basically I wouldn't use a lot of cheese, no dressing at all, ever(!), and definitely no nuts or seeds or anything that would add more calories. Basically I just had lettuce, peppers, cucumbers and chicken. Nowadays I'm loving lite honey mustard. Tonight's salad had Romaine hearts, a variety of cherry tomatoes, cucumbers, strawberries (they're perfect in salads too!), crumbled feta, grilled chicken and lite honey mustard dressing. And it was delicious. I usually make enough to get 2-3 salads out as well :-)

Dinner tonight & Lunch tomorrow :-)

c). Grilled chicken & grilled veggies. I love food on the grill! Ryan is such a good griller. Although it's been raining the past couple weeks, we usually grill out at least one a week. I typically have marinated chicken or turkey burgers. He usually goes for the red meat and has burgers or steak or kabobs of some sort. I love grilled zucchini and squash as well.

Healthy shopping cart!

What do you love about summer foods?

Recovery

Since badly injuring my back and developing Sciatica from my inflamed muscles pushing on the nerve I have had to learn a few valuable lessons.

1). Listen listen listen to your body!

This is a hard one for me because I tend to be of the mindset of "Pain is good when you're working out. More pain = harder work" etc... But there are different kinds of pain. Not only have I been learning the difference between them, but I've also learned that some pains will lead you to incapacity instead of great capacity.

2). When there is the bad kind of pain, patience is the first thing you need.

The whole Rest Ice Compress Elevate (RICE) thing is good too. Add some heat, some stretching, some PT approved exercises for "core strength" and a loving boyfriend who will massage at a moment's notice and you've got a recipe for recovery. These are all active things though. Things that you do. Patience is something you must have in order to recover. This is probably the hardest part of recovery for me.

3). You don't need to workout as hard as you did in the past.

In fact, if you try, you'll just stay injured. Instead of doing what I used to do, I've had to cut back a lot of specific exercises, switch some exercises. Here are a few examples:

I now lift 3 days/week. I have cut out most exercises on "Back Day" and "Leg Day". I can still do the following:

Back:

Face-pulls (works muscles of upper back/shoulders)
Lat Pulldowns (works upper back and lats)
Back Extensions on a machine (Lower back but way easier on the muscles than Hypers)

...yeah thats about all I do for back now other than my PT exercises.

I combine this workout with my "Legs" workout sometimes.

Legs:

Hip Abductors (I am severely lacking mobility in my hips which may have been a cause for getting injured in the first place)
Leg Curls (machine)
Leg Extensions (sitting machine...the standing one puts more torque on the back)

Today I actually squatted for the first time though...after several months of doing very little leg-wise. I did the bar and the bar plus 25s. So little compared to what I'm used to...but remember...patience.

I've used this recovery (and am still using it) to learn the lessons above. I'm trying to really focus on the movement and the muscles, even at light weights while also getting back into running more. Hopefully, once I fully recover I will be able to do more, but I think the important thing is that, even if I never get back to deadlifting or squatting as high as I used to, I'm still happy that I can workout as much as I do and humbled by the lessons I'm learning.

MFP

I have counted calories since I was about 14 years old. It's been both a good and a bad thing, and although I haven't done it every day since I was 14, I would say I did it a large portion of those days. Going back through old boxes I always find a food journal with calorie counts in it.

I'm at the point where I can read through these journal now and feel a bit sad at how little I used to eat and how miserable I was doing it. Regardless of how it was, I knew I had to do it. It started out as education -- a way to understand how much I was actually eating when I was overweight. This is one of the first things that nutritionists (like my sister!) tell their patients to do to lose weight: start keeping track of everything you eat.

In the beginning, it was good. I realized I ate a lot more than I needed and started cutting back. I was 14. Dieting was something everyone did, right? Well, like the typical type-A perfectionist I was, I didn't half-ass the calorie counting. I made sure I did it "perfectly".

Some examples of the obsessive perfection were weighing/measuring all food, looking up nutritional info on multiple sites and averaging them to get the most accurate outcome, and making sure not to eat anything I didn't know nutritional information for.

Eventually, as the eating disorder started taking over, counting became more and more important and obsessive. However, sometimes I believe that not counting would have been worse. When I didn't count, I drastically overestimated how much I was eating so that I wouldn't gain weight. At least with calorie counting I could eat as much as I would allow myself without low-balling it. Now, I'm not suggesting this is a good thing, but for a brief time when I tried not counting calories, it was much worse.

As I've recovered, one might think that I would have stopped counting as much. The truth is, I haven't -- I'm just less obsessive about it. I still need a certain amount of control and knowledge of what I'm eating. So I still "count" which is defined much more loosely now then it used to be. I weigh and measure foods as well, but I can eat out at a restaurant without worrying now.

The reason I wanted to talk about calorie counting today is that I believe it's actually helpful for me. Now its not just calories that I like looking at, but how much protein I get, how many carbs and how much fat. I can spot trends now based on calories and macros. I can correlate it to cravings, mood swings, energy levels and so on. I like the knowledge. I think knowledge is usually good as long as its not misused.

My calorie/macro counter/food journal of choice has now switched to an online one: MyFitnessPal. I no longer fill up journal after journal of paper -- but an online one instead. It has cool apps to make charts of things like protein or net calories over periods of time which I also like (cause I'm a nerd!).

It has a feature that tells you how many days you've logged onto it in a row. Today marks my 500th day, which was why I wanted to write about this. It's a lot of days, but something I do so naturally, and hopefully healthily now, that I think of it as an accomplishment.

Food struggles during an injury

Being out of commission kinda sucks, to put it bluntly and not at all eloquently. Not only am I frustrated because of the pain (which is getting better, but still oscillating between nagging/sore and medium/bad), but on top of that, I can't work out or rough-house with the puppies, or clean or do any of those things that help make graduate school more manageable mentally.

On top of this, I of course have concerns about weight gain. I have been quite active for the past year, almost year and a half. I really rely on being able to run and lift and then eat to support my activity. Part of what has helped me so much while dealing with the eating disorder is to begin to see food as fuel for my body. The better/more I eat (within limits) the better I perform both mentally and physically. Seeing the lifting numbers go up, running numbers go down seems to make up for the weight on the scale staying roughly the same. It's taken a while to get to that point, but I'm glad I got to it.

Fast forward to now. I haven't worked out "for real" in about two weeks, nor will I probably for at least another. When I get to the point that walking feels ok, I may start incorporating light jogging in, but it's going to be slow.

So, given that I'm not working out, what am I doing about food? I knew I would have this issue if I were to ever get very injured. It naturally begs a few questions:

Q-1). How do I start seeing food as fuel in general for normal body functioning and not just for training?

Q-2). If I cut back because I'm not training, how much do I cut back?

Q-3). How scared should I be that cutting back may send me back into a downwards loop of trying to see how low I can go -- at least for the time being?

Q-4). How do I deal with any possible weight gain I see on the scale?


So, I don't have concrete answers to any of this of course but here are my tentative answers the way I see them now:

A-1). I try to realize that recovery requires more work than just existing, that repair of damaged nerves and muscles needs rest -- but also fuel, and that the faster I heal the faster I get back to training.

A-2). I've honestly been trying to listen more to my body and just go with less than what I have been while training, but more than 1200. I usually hit 1300-1500 now...although some days this has been a struggle. I've also cut out more "junk" as in no ice cream on weekends after hard workouts and fewer less healthy snacks.

A-3). I think this depends on how long I have to do this for. However, trying to see it positively, this is good practice for any other future injuries or times when I need to take some time off.

A-4). Trying to do this now. It's harder than I thought **

** I have been taking Prednisone for inflammation. This is a steriod with one possible side effect of water retention. Now, while the "tiny" increase on the scale is most likely from that, I still get paranoid.

Long roads...

Long roads to recovery -- those seem to be the only type. I don't think I've ever had the experience of a "short recovery".  My shin splits in high-school turned to stress fractures because I refused to stop running on them. Those took a while to heal, thank you stubbornness. My shoulder dislocation also took a while to heal, and this new nerve pain/injury...it's going just as slowly.

For the past 7 days I have rested, iced, stretched, took meds, heated, repeated. And by repeat, I mean the whole or part of this processes every day 3-8 times a day. While the constant rest has probably helped the muscles relax a bit, it's still in a decent amount of pain sometimes and my mind is going crazy.


Despite how enticing laying in bed can be after a hard workout or a long day, laying in bed for 3-4 straight days is mind-numbingly boring...even with my physics textbooks and code to distract me.

Thankfully I will be seeing a physical therapist and my doctor again tomorrow morning! I have no doubt I will need to keep repeating everything I have been doing, but at least I will have more data to present and possibly new information to gather (like when I can actually start working out again and what to do to prevent this in the future!)

Injury Sadness :-(

It has been a while since I posted on here. I get very excited about writing about working out and fitness...but that requires actually being to work out. I have been cutting back recently due to the injury on my back from lifting (most likely).

History:

1). When I felt the initial pain in my lower back the first thing I cut out was deadlifts -- even though I loved them so much, they were putting such a strain on the lower back muscles.

2). The next thing I cut out was half of back day -- more the lower back half which included deadlifts, hypers, etc.

Ok, admittedly not just back pain keeping me from deadlifting this...

...but I still kept feeling pretty badly...

3). So, the next thing I cut out was most of leg day. Squats put a lot of pressure on my back, as did the leg press and glute bridges.

By this time the pain was in the lower lower back, also in the butt/glutes...and it seemed to be getting worse.

4). So I basically cut down to three lifting days a week (Arm day on Sat, Chest/Arm day Tues and Cardio/Upper back/shoulders either Sunday or Thursday). Needless to say at this point I was sad. I was disenchanted. I couldn't do some of my favourite lifts and even after lifting with other muscle groups my back/butt was still quite sore the next day.

The "bad day":

I've continues with this cut back routine for almost a month: until last Saturday.

Last Saturday was bad. I worked out (Arms and Cardio) in the A.M. and then went to volunteer at the shelter. I had the good fortune of being able to work with one of the timid dogs whom I like very much -- but she was a medium sized dog and I had to pick her up, carry her, put her down, repeat multiple times. I felt my back getting worse throughout the time, but figured it was just sore from lifting weight (squirmy weight sometimes!) from off the ground. A couple dogs I had also pulled quite a lot, which is usual, but seemed to bother my back more than it had every other weekend.  After this, we also did a bunch of housecleaning and walked our own dogs. By that night I could barely move. In fact, I had to get Ryan to help pick me up out of bed because everything was so sore.

I stayed in bed most of Sunday and Monday with little reprieve. Tuesday, the pain was so bad that I went to the doctor. I had a PT appointment schedule for the following week (in 3 days actually!), but I could barely walk, so I took the first appt. available.

So what is it?

The verdict: Sciatic nerve pain due to severe swelling of the sciatic nerve. In fact, it's so swollen its easy to feel and almost even see.

The prescription: The doctor gave me steroids (ha!) and pain meds to reduce the swelling. I have been taking those for several days combined with heat & ice, stretching, wonderful massages courtesy of Ryan, and puppy kisses, courtesy of the doctor doggies.

Doctor Q.

Guess at a cause: In researching this type of pain, I found at least 3 or 4 common causes, including herniated disks, slipped disks etc. I finally came across one that seemed the most plausible: Piriformus Syndrome. This is basically a tightening of the muscles in the butt/glute/hip joint. When these muscles get pulled too tightly (like possibly from overlifting, or lifting with poor form, or both of these combined with lack of stretching!) the muscles become inflamed. The problem is the poor little sciatic nerve runs in between these muscles and so, when the muscles swell, they pinch the nerve. This sounded like a likely cause.

When I was mostly a runner, I had very limber, loose, flexible muscles. When I started lifting 4x/week, not running a lot and not stretching, I felt all my muscles, especially those in my hip/back get a lot tighter. I would put money on this being the cause.

Ice, heat, rest, meds, stretch

The plan: Rest, ice, heat, stretch, take it easy...until I feel good enough for light activity. I will, of course, start with walking and running at an easy pace. I will also probably do arm and chest lifting workouts. Eventually, if I recover fully I will ease my way back into a harder routine.

Building up the arms & shoulders

When I began lifting I was scared of getting bulky. I didn't know enough about lifting and diet at that point to realize that unless I really ate to bulk, lifted very low rep and high weight and did little cardio, that probably wasn't going to even start to happen. 

I don't supplement heavily, I eat a moderate amount (1500-1800 calories most days), and lift in the 8-12 rep range. I'm not bulking. But what I am trying for is nice, visible muscles. Now, different people put on muscle differently and even for the same person, different muscles will be easier or harder to grow.

I have always had trouble putting muscle on my upper body, as I've mentioned before. To that end I do 2 (ish) arm workouts a week. I say "ish" because one is a hard, solely arm workout and the other one I combine with my chest day.

Today I noticed a nice line between my bis and tris when my arm was down at my side doing shoulder rotations on the cable machine. That got me pretty stoked!

Either way, there is still a long way to go between me and the muscle I want on my arms.

Current Arms

Hopefully one day in the future -- arms

Unmotivated - II

As I mentioned in my last post, I have been very unmotivated to lift. I have boiled this down to four main reasons:

1. Pain
2. I can't do some of my favourite lifts because of injury and increasing aforementioned pain
3. The nice weather
4. The gym switch

1 and 2 go together, so let's start there. Over a month ago, I injured my lower back pretty badly doing DLs. I'm pretty sure I tore something, as I could barely move, twist, or bend for a while and even after that got better, picking weights up off the ground caused pain. So I rested it, I stretched, I foam-rolled, I got Ryan to give me back rubs (amazing bf that he is!). And I thought it helped. Eventually I could do normal everyday things without pain. Instead of going back straight to DLs, I decided to try light squatting instead. By light I mean the bar up to my BW. Pre-injury, my sets started at BW and worked up to 1.75 BW. So I figured this would be ok. The squats themselves actually didn't feel bad at all. What felt terrible was waking up the next morning and the morning after that.

So here I am, in pain still (didn't even try squatting on Sunday) and not able to do some of my favourite lifts (DLs, squats, and hypers). Talk about de-motivation. :-(

3. The nice weather. Nice weather encourages me to be outside. I love outside. I moved to the south primarily for the warmer weather. I'm one of those people that can handle 90s and almost never turn on the car AC. That said, the last thing I want to do on beautiful days is workout inside. Beautiful days are for trail running, walking the dogs, swimming etc...not for lifting in a gym. Especially if the gym happens to be very dark...

.....which brings me to number 4. The new gym. I'm not gonna lie...it's not my favourite. It has been more crowded recently (probably due to summer), and it's very dark inside. Dark, and full of sweaty lifting guys and high school kids. I only work out there on Thursdays and Saturdays now. I try to go to Duke's gym on Tuesday during the day and Sunday I sometimes trade lifting for running, or I go to Duke.

I feel like, in order to stay motivated and healthy, I need to spend a little less time lifting and a little more time outside running or doing other activities. If I find that this really decreases my strength and physique, I will switch back. In my opinion however, it's better to be able to stick with something for the long hall, than to burn out.

Lacking Motivation....

I'm finding that with lack of motivation to workout and lift comes lack of motivation to write about working out/lifting and general fitness things. Somehow they must be entangled...

This lack of motivation has been kind of creeping up on me for the past week or two. Whenever it comes time to go to the gym to lift I find myself feeling mentally and physically drained. When the weather has been nice I have found the motivation to run outside, but to me, running isn't terribly mentally draining as I tend not to have to focus so much.

One of the possible causes for the drain could be that I work out at different times now, and I workout at different times of the day depending on what day of the week.

I used to consistently work out in the mornings. During the week (Tues/Thurs) it was between 7:30-8 start time, while on the weekends (Sat/Sun) I slept in a bit and started around 9 am.

So accurate sometimes...

Now my schedule is:

Toss-up Tuesday: Sometimes it's at 8 am, more often it's during lunchtime, but also sometimes if I'm busy it's after dinner with Ryan.

PM Thursday: Typically I've been going to the new (non-Duke) gym after dinner with Ryan on back day.

AM Saturday: We have been going to the new gym on Saturdays, but usually around 10 -- not quite as early as we used to head to Duke.

AM Sunday: I actually haven't done my past 2 leg workouts. One I replaced with a nice run around the golf course and a walk with the pups. The other I just didn't do much. See? Lack of motivation.

I'm not quite sure what to do about this other than just plug through it. Maybe change up my workouts a bit? If I figure it out, I'll be sure to post!

A trail run sort of day

I've posted a lot about lifting on this blog. Probably because there's a bit more to write about it. I find running entries tend to be very short and succinct, because when I run, I just run. Not a lot of frills or thought put into it, just me and the pavement.

A combination of factors led me to forgo my scheduled Arm day at the "Great Hall of Fitness" and opt for a run instead.

1). It was 67 degrees out. And sunny. And a bit breezy. Could you ask for better running weather? Nope!

2). I was exhausted from the combination of staying up late thinking about optics and getting up early for Dog Orientation at APS! If there's anything that could get me up at 7 am on a Saturday, it would probably have to be cute, fluffy, and of the canine family. When I'm mentally drained, lifting isn't the best activity for me. I need a lot of focus while lifting; not so much running.

3). The pup pups needed a good run.

So off we went to the Washington Duke trail.

We don't actually let them get this far ahead of us....only for pictures!

It was a perfect day to run, and I have the perfect running partner. Now I know I'm not supposed to play favourites with the pups. However, amoung her many talents, Emmy does not possess the one that says running should be done at roughly a constant speed. Emmy was bred to herd, meaning that she can go 0-60 in no time, run like a maniac until her job is done, and then stop and sniff/plod along for as long as she deems fit. This doesn't suit my typical running style, although for sprint workouts she'd be great. So I took Q instead, while Emmy walked with Ryan.

Oh hey Emmy

Q is the most amazing running partner. She's pretty shy with people so she never feels the need to run ahead and investigate. She can keep a damn near constant pace. She's a bit prancy, meaning she's enjoying herself and everyone we pass think she's the cutest thing. She's also good at keeping a step or two ahead of me on the hills which is great motivation for me. And on this particular run she learned "easy" which means to brace and slow down on steep declines. She's awesome. And unlike Emmy, she doesn't feel the need to stop and take a poo when we are the furthest place possible from a trash can. :).

<3

The run made me realize that I've been in the gym lifting a bit too much. Lifting is fun, but not therapeutic in the same way that running is. As it gets nicer out, hopefully I'll be posting a bit more about running!

The little track star.

And her daddy.

The HRM

One of my best little fitness friends is my Polar Heart Rate Monitor (HRM). Seriously. The little guy goes everywhere with me when it comes to workouts, running, walking, whatever. Here are a few reasons why I love HRM for working out.

The one I have. Love the red!

Reasons:

1). Calorie burn on gym equipment tends to be VERY inaccurate.

To test this, during today's workout out at the new gym down the road, I got on one of their "better" ellipticals (they have a couple different kinds) and entered my weight (entered 110 even though my HRM is set at 112 just to give the machine a teeny edge up) and started the workout.

When the HRM told me I burned 100 calories I checked the machine to see what number it gave. The verdict: 175 calories! A 75% increase! 

You may ask how I know my HRM is accurate, and that would be a good question. The HRM calculates calories based on the heart rate and how hard the body is working. Polar and a few other companies have perfected their devices which have been tested against calories calculated various ways (e.g. using VO2 max). They are only estimations as well, but much better ones with +/- 15-25% inaccuracy.

This is a nice review article of calories burned in different exercises using a HRM and other fitness trackers:

http://www.wired.com/playbook/2012/08/fitness-trackers/

2). Knowing how much to rest in between sets.

This is kind of a tricky thing. I try to listen to my body in between sets when I lift. When I'm doing more complex lifts (deadlifts, squats, even pull-ups sometimes) I find that my body needs a lot more rest compared to when I do a set of curls or tricep dips. This makes sense. But my body and mind don't always agree on when I should do the next set. Sometimes I get amped up to do the next set because I'm going for a max and try to do it too soon after the previous set. Sometimes I'm tired and groggy and end up zoning out or delaying the next set because my brain is just tired. My HRM actually tells me how my heart feels. It spikes during sets (especially during the aforementioned complex lifts) and then I can watch it drop. When it gets below a certain number, that's a good indication that I can start the next set soon. If it gets too far below, its a good indication I am taking too long.


3). It gives good indication of getting in shape.

I've done the following experiment many times: I take a week or so off from cardio/lifting (sometimes for vacation, sometimes just because my body needs it) and when I go back I do the same workout (same time & intensity) as I did the week before I took off. I always find that my heart rate is several (between 6-8 bpm) higher when I get back.

Now, I'm not actually getting out of shape in a week. Not entirely. But my body has to work harder after that week because it's not used to it. The body is good at adapting and becoming efficient. The same workouts, if done repeatedly and regularly, will require less work the longer you do them. I use my HRM to tell how hard my body is working, and how, if I'm at the same intensity doing the same exercise, if I'm adapting or not.


4). I just like numbers.

Honestly. I like knowing how high my heart rate gets doing lunges across the gym. Or how many calories I burn in a mile. Numbers nerd.

Quick motivation.

I was recently reading an article on bodybuilding.com about motivation tips.  I sometimes have trouble motivating myself to go to the gym, but it hasn't been a big issue, so I typically just read motivational articles for entertainment, or just because. They usually are quickly forgotten before I get back to my own personal motivating thoughts. However, there was one that struck me that I wanted to share. It said:

"What you do right now is the most important thing in the world."

The advice was that when you are doing a heavy set, when you're doing cardio, and even when you're consuming your post-workout (well balanced!) meal/supplement/shake, that what are you doing in that moment is what counts. It's what really matters and in that moment you need to make it the most important thing in the world.

After that, you forget it. You don't dwell on failures or even successes. You learn from the failures, try to repeat the successes, but stay in the moment when you are training.

I liked that idea a lot and have been applying that mindset to my workouts. It has helped me build a better mind-muscle connection. As I think about the importance of what I'm doing, excelling at it becomes paramount and therefore I concentrate harder and push myself harder.

New Pink Brooks.

Shoes are not my thing. I have maybe one pair of heels I bought years ago and one pair of flats.  I  do own multiple pairs of flip flops and slippers (or as Ryan calls them -- my hipster shoes). I also hate most shoe shopping, but when it comes to running shoes, I make an exception. 

Ever since I have run seriously, I have always run in Brooks. Always. I don't think I will ever run in anything else. I first fell in love with them when I went to The Running Co. in Princeton, NJ during one of my breaks in college. Before that I had always been a fan of "whatever feels good and is on sale". During college I started running more seriously and by the time I came home from break, my shoes were ripping apart. My mom, sister, and I went to The Running Co. where a nice girl put me on a treadmill and told me to run while she watched me. Within less than 2 minutes she had taken down two pair of shoes for me to try. I put the first ones (Brooks -- can't remember the model) on and fell in love. It was like they were made to fit my feet and only my feet and they were light as a feather. Ever since that day I've run in Brooks. I hear very good things about other companies (for example my brother is like I am and ONLY runs in Mizunos), but I have my favourite and to them I am loyal.

My current shoes have far passed their date of being good to run in. I tend to run more than the recommended several hundred miles before buying new ones. As I have not been running as much recently, I've definitely pushed that limit a bit farther.

Today my gorgeous new Brooks PureCadence shoes arrived. They were a birthday gift from my brother (thanks Stephen!!!). My sibbies & mom have a really good "track" record of getting me very good fitness related gifts for my birthday and Christmas. They first introduced me to the Nike+ several years ago to track my running, and I would say have provided me with 1/3 of my current workout clothes and shoes :-)

Beautiful Brooks.

Aren't they just gorgeous?! I love the colour pink for running shoes. Given that I have a lot of black non-bold workout clothes, I think they are perfect.

I wore them to the gym tonight and they are just amazing. They are super lightweight and they have really good cushioning. I am an overpronator (I roll towards the inside of my foot when I step) because I have such flat feet. If I do the wet test where you put your foot in water and then step on a sheet of paper, the whole surface area of my foot is on the paper. I am the leftmost one below.

That said, I typically have to have a very cushioned shoe or a stability shoe for running. Usually, stability shoes are heavier than neutral shoes because they need extra material for cushioning. However, Brooks manages to make one hell of a lightweight shoe with a lot of stability.

Ready for a run and back day!

Ok, I promise that's as much as you'll ever hear me talk about shoes. I just kinda like them. A lot!

Pink shoes on a beat up T-bar row.

I also like back day. A lot. :-)

On a Quest.

I don't often devote full posts to product reviews, but I think this company and product deserve as many positive reviews as possible, so without further ado I give you a full post on Quest Bars. Specifically, I will focus on the most recent flavour that I have tried: Cookie Dough.

First let me say that I honestly don't know how these guys (and girls) do it! How do you make a product with such good macros taste so good? Whatever their secret is, they succeeded. I first tried Quest bars almost  a year ago. Either Ryan or I stumbled across them while searching for awesome protein bars. I'm always in the market for a good protein bar and have tried many. To me at first, this was just another bar I would try, find ok, and move on...until I actually tried my first one. Then I knew I had found a gem.

Quest Cookie Dough: So excited when this arrived!!

Macros: As with the whole Quest bar line, the macros are just amazing.
Cal: 190
Pro: 21 g
Carbs: 21 g  (* Only 3g net carbs *)
Fat: 8 g
Fiber: 17 g

Taste: Amazing! Really, this stuff tastes like actual cookie dough. I don't know how they do it. The bar has pieces of chocolate in it for the chocolate chips and basically tastes just like my mommy's cookie dough (which I always snuck spoonfuls of when I was a kid!). And if you heat it up it tastes like warm cookie dough! Ryan also really likes these! I was quite surprised as he tends to think protein bars that I love are just "ok". He rarely is as shocked as I am to find something he likes so much, but he did with these!

Beautiful.

What impresses me even more about the taste is that I liked them even before I had tried all of the various bars and shakes that I've currently tried. The reason I think this makes a difference is that tastes can adapt and they are definitely relative. When you try a protein bar you're basically going to compare it to other protein bars you've had, which admittedly over half of the ones I've tried are pretty gross. So if the flavour is ok to good, you have a winner. Personally, I think these taste great regardless of only being pitted against other protein bars. Yes, they are a clear winner in this category, but I would also put them against snack bars, sweets, granola bars, breakfast bars etc that are not stacked with protein. My bet is that Quest bars would still win.

Cookie dough heaven!

Texture/consistency: This is the part that really shocked me for two reasons:

1. There is actually a softness AND grittiness to the bar to mimic real cookie dough. Before baking the sugar granuals in cookie dough make for a grainy, but not crunchy texture to the dough. This is very hard to mimic without sugar or a lot of sugar substitute (I've tried several times!), but they did it without added sugar!
2. The bar is actually pretty soft itself without heating. Most people who have tasted Quest bars know that the secret is to heat the bar in a microwave from between 15-18s. Something happens during the heating process to transform the bar from pretty hard to chew to soft and gooey. Again, it's magic to me. Typically I eat the Chocolate Brownie bar, which is (was!) my favourite. I never mind heating it of course, because it always justs tastes like a warm brownie after I do. However the cookie dough Quest bar actually has a great texture heated or unheated.

Chocolate Brownie!!!

Some of my other favourites include: Chocolate Brownie and Cinnamon Roll. Ryan likes the Peanut Butter Supreme (which I haven't tried yet shockingly!). We were sent a new flavour of Banana Nut and am excited to try that as well!

Running Partners

Admittedly, this post will be a little bit about fitness, but mostly about running with puppies....

I have never really liked running with a partner. I know a lot of people like it, but I just could never get into it. I rather like exercising by myself. I love days when the track and weight room are empty. Just me 'n the music is my preferred mode.

I make an exception however for my two favourite running partners: Emmy (also known as E-bear, little bear, fluffy britches, wiggle butt) and Qubit  (known simply as "Q",  lil-Q, Q-bibs, honey Q Q.)

Best running partner #1

Best Running Partner #2

Some of my favourite things about running with these two are:

• I pick whatever pace I want and they are equally happy with all of them (except for when we spot a squirrel fatefully crossing our path and then I can't run fast enough for them).
• We can run whenever I want. They need no warning, no time to get ready, they just are happy to go.
• They don't care where we run. They loves trails, loops around the house, the sidewalk, the streets, anywhere.
• They are happy, truly happy to be outside and running. The looks on their faces (which unfortunately I couldn't capture while running) are just awesome. Every once in a while they look up at me and I can tell they are having the time of their life.
• Runs with them are always a bit more interesting because of neighborhood dogs, birds, squirrels, mailmen/mailwomen etc. They think everything is exciting, and it's a bit contagious!
• They keep me company, without demanding I talk to them. I can wear my headphone if I like, and it doesn't bother them.
• They keep me safe. I feel a lot safer running with dogs when I'm out by myself and I'm positive they feel as though they are fighting for my life when they bark back at the chubby beagle who comes charging down the neighbors' driveway towards us.
• I have gotten better at fartlek runs. This is basically how a dog naturally runs.

"I barely made it through the door I'm so exhausted!"

"I'm not tired!"

And there are only a few drawbacks:

• Typically running partners don't poop on the grass next to where you are running. Emmy is fantastic at waiting until we are the farthest point away from the house before she does this. 
• Needing to stop and smell things from time to time. (Them, not me.) Typically they are pretty good about this, but sometimes "we" get off track.

Good runners deserve biscuits post-run...and pre-run...and always!!

The "cookie jar"

Q: Ohhhh I can't wait any longer!
Em: Geez settle down...they're just cookies.

If you have a dog, I recommend trying to work out with them once in a while. It's so fun for both them and you. It really makes exercise seem more like a game than a chore, and who doesn't need that once in a while?

"YESSS. My life is complete!"

"Ok, I guess I'm excited now..."