Do things ever really "get easier"?

Yes and no.

I've been thinking a lot about this question recently. Is eating any easier? Is letting go of a stringent exercise routine easier? Is eating different food easier? Not counting calories all the time?

For the most part, I would say that yes, yes it's getting easier. That is to say, I stress less when I don't hit the number I want for a given day. If I'm too sore to do a full workout, that's starting to be more ok. And I've survived several weekends away eating food I'm completely unfamiliar with and having to eat more than I normally would.

But what do I mean by survive? Is that the same thing as success? My answer: some days it has to be.

I've gained ~ 1.6-2.2 lbs. In the past two months or so. I know I have gained this because I now weigh 113.2. Since Christmas I have fluctuated between 110-112 with exactly TWO instances where I have gone outside of this (one I hit 109.8, which violated Ryan and my agreement so I ate more and once where I hit 112.2). I was upset about this, of course, but not devastated. I didn't immediately start planning out 100 calories meals and schedule in an extra 2 hours at the gym. I know better than that now.

But there's still a part of me that says I'm getting lazy. I'm slacking. I'm not going to succeed (whatever that means) if I keep cutting corners, if I have an extra handful of Chex Mix without counting it.

So is it really easier?

That's why it's both yes and no. Yes, a lot of things are easier, but at the same time the uncharted territory of being less strict, more relaxed makes me upset and nervous still. Things are easier on a schedule. They are easier when they are planned out. They are easier when you don't eat as much and you don't have to stock the fridge as often. But that's just on the surface. They aren't really easier because all the time you save not making food or shopping for it, you spend thinking about it. And all the extra time in the gym that you convince yourself makes you "feel better", really just drains you to the point where you can't play with your dogs or focus on a good conversation.

I'm not sure this post is either hopeful or pessimistic. It's just the truth for me as I've come to realize it. That sometimes things are easier and not easier at the same time. The physics term for this is a quantum superposition. Just in case you wanted to know :-)