Win/Lose

Here's the thing about the holidays: whenever I restrict myself in terms of food, I feel worse. I feel like I'm not partaking in the happiness that is sitting around a big dinner table with family trying a bit of everything that everyone helped make. So this Christmas I did. 

I estimate that Christmas day was about 3000-3500 calories which is what they say is the equivalent of a pound. Now, I know I didn't actually gain a whole pound of fat being that my body probably burns off about half of that throughout the day and possibly more if I were active...but it was definitely more than my body was used to eating. And the binging voice definitely kicked in after dinner. Dessert was larger than normal and nighttime snacking was at an all-time high. I did go to bed upset with myself, but definitely not on the scale that I usually do after overeating.

The thing was, other than the nighttime snacks, which I didn't need (but did enjoy), I enjoyed the experience of just letting go, of not counting every. single. calorie. Of having full fat ice cream and homemade cookies and Hawaiian chocolates. I had turkey, slaw salad, sweet potato (baked) fries, asparagus (which somehow even though I thought I hated, I actually really like!), along with baked apples and other delicious side dishes. I usually don't eat much of this in my normal diet, but this was a vacation and a holiday. And it was delicious.

Who thought I'd ever like this stuff?

Now, just because I enjoyed this experience doesn't mean it was how I would want to live every day--or even often. I like the structure of my diet...at this point knowing everything I eat and its macro breakdown is a security blanket for me. And for now that's ok. The important thing was allowing myself one or two days of a little flexibility and self-forgiveness.  It's ok to overindulge once in a while, especially for a special occasion. My problem tends to come in when I overfeed myself, once I break the binging, I restrict to get back my self-control. This severe restriction only leads to further binging the following days or weeks once I can't handle the restriction anymore. So the key for me now is to get back to structure and not start punishing myself.

The other aspect of vacation is not lifting or working out. We took the pups for a few walks, but for the most part stayed in the house due to cold/rainy/snowy weather. My body very much enjoyed the sleep and rest, but I'm definitely ready to work out again.

Card gym, I miss you!

Overall though, I think this was a pretty successful experiment in terms of my diet and flexibility. More importantly however, was that I got to spend an awesome holiday with this guy:

Christmas with Ryan

How did you spend the holidays? Did you keep with your typical diet?